So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
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He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
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Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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