That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
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Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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