so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
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I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
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