I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
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I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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