i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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