It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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