I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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