Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.

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  (925): Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back. http://tfl.nu/vsft
  Replies (22) Good night (521) Bad night (1308) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.

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  (210): Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl. http://tfl.nu/ha6v
  Replies (6) Good night (680) Bad night (1595) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!

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  (402): The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE! http://tfl.nu/1ymk
  Replies (63) Good night (1040) Bad night (7767)
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  (661): View more from California

  He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.

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  (661): He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina. http://tfl.nu/ay3j
  Replies (23) Good night (7456) Bad night (891) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.

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  (402): She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night. http://tfl.nu/vsnq
  Replies (17) Good night (758) Bad night (3344) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention

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  (978): fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention http://tfl.nu/iald
  Replies (7) Good night (739) Bad night (3570) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay

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  (647): Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay http://tfl.nu/st3m
  Replies (5) Good night (2839) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life

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  (443): She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life http://tfl.nu/dd6j
  Replies (16) Good night (4552) Bad night (677) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  There r osticjed everywhere

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  (248): There r osticjed everywhere http://tfl.nu/gpnb
  Replies (12) Good night (1727) Bad night (1018) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?

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  (410): How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila? http://tfl.nu/957o
  Replies (17) Good night (2400) Bad night (957) Order T-Shirt
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  (+33): View more from France

  I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."

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  (+33): I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes." http://tfl.nu/b971
  Replies (4) Good night (1649) Bad night (567) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong

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  (715): We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong http://tfl.nu/qp7g
  Replies (14) Good night (809) Bad night (464) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?

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  (858): So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom? http://tfl.nu/h0sv
  Replies (13) Good night (1419) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.

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  (206): Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious. http://tfl.nu/0zzq
  Replies (8) Good night (692) Bad night (303) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?

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  (306): just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays? http://tfl.nu/3o82
  Replies (2) Good night (791) Bad night (135) Order T-Shirt

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