He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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