dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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