So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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