I want to have your abortion
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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