wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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