kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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