The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize