I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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