the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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