God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
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I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
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had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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