I would go down on you faster than GM stock
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize