if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize