Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize