I cut my penus on the lid.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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