dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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