i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize