ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize