Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
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I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
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We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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