I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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