Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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