No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize