She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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