I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize