someone get that fucking seahorse.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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