He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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