Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
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