Apparently you make a good broom.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize