i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
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We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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