I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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