I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize