Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Panties = found
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