Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It's Friday. Sex?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize