I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize