so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
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Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
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When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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