So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
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worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
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Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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