god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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