Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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