So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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