Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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