There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
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