Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
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Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
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just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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