maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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