it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
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